The Family Leave

Where has time gone? As my unpaid family leave comes to an end, I can’t help but feel anxious. Anxious to leave my little 11-month old boy home behind with a nanny, albeit a very trusted one indeed. Anxious to go back to the stress of trying to cramp a 16-week long curriculum (at least) in 10 weeks. Anxious I wouldn’t find myself back to where I was, very comfortable in the classroom. Finally, anxious as I recall certain trauma I had gone through with my department prior to my son’s arrival.

Six years ago, I had come to my director’s office to get an employment verification. This means that I had to disclose our plans of adopting. At 24 months in our wait, I had to approach our program manager about the process of going on leave just in case we got a call to pick up a child, which often happens in infant adoption. One could say that both my program director and program manager had plenty of time to research my case, family leave in adoption.

A year ago, I came in to tell them my good news. I wanted to talk to them about my options, mainly family leave. I was asked back the following day so they can lay out my options. Both the director and the manager were very happy to present this “wonderful deal” they were able to offer me. I eagerly anticipated to hear the offer. My son was to be born right around week 5, at midterm. They wanted me to work one course but pay me for two courses (per my original contract). This offer meets both my needs and the department’s needs, they said (they want to avoid interruptions mid-quarter). They offered me what they call ASMD (active service: modified duties) and that I was not entitled to FMLA. I was very confused so I asked to double check.

“You want me to teach one course while I get paid for two courses. And do I get to stay home when the baby comes?”

“No, that’s the tradeoff. You can take the day off when she’s (the birthmom) in the hospital. It’ll be like being sick, we can cover your course for a day or two, but you’ll have to come back.”

“And if I wanted to stay home?”

“You can take the other option- you can take a leave of absence without pay for the entire quarter.”

Even more confused, I asked, “Why can’t I work the first part of the quarter (therefore get paid for that part of the quarter) and then stay home (when the baby comes)?”

The other option desirable for me would’ve been that they pay me the entire quarter without asking me to work at all, which was not unheard of, if they really didn’t want interruption to the course.

My director tried to say that she didn’t know as this was a unique case – they’ve never dealt with adoptive parents before (Keeping in mind, this is a university employing nearly 24,000 with nearly 36,000 student population. One which boasts its diversity and equality). Impatiently and with disdain, the program manager finally uttered, “You’re not carrying the baby.”

“I know that. But he’ll be coming home with me?”

“You can take the leave of absence if you want to stay home,” she repeated.

Knowing that we’re not on the same page, and to avoid saying something I will regret later, I excused myself and asked to talk it over with my husband. I left the office angry. No, livid. How dare she say that I can’t stay home with MY baby because I wasn’t carrying him.

I immediately called my union president to ask for help. I felt like I was being screwed all over again.

All over again? Yes, for 5 years, I worked for a California State University. I was laid off the moment my department found out I was pregnant with my older son, citing I had low student evaluation (I consistently had 4.6 and higher out of 5 and I had 4.8 that particular semester. You can’t get any higher than that). That next semester, the program hired a bunch of underqualified newbies. Only that time I didn’t care. I was so excited to be having a baby that I was actually happy to stay home. Nevertheless, injustice was done.

As a side note, of no consequence to my situation, the program is due to close at the end of this semester.

Then why fight it now?

In the grand scheme of life, it doesn’t really matter if I stayed home or not. Summer was around the corner. I won’t be home with my son for only for 5 weeks, right? Then you throw this in the mix – “blessed are those who are meek for they shall inherit the earth.” Meek – quiet, gentle, submissive. Should I have been more blessed if I just let it go and accepted what I was offered? Then I realized, “meekness” or “desiring to submit” does not mean sitting back or allowing things to happen to you. In fact, God calls us to fight for social justice. Blessed is the one who submits to God’s commands and desires, not one’s own. Meekness to me in this case is fighting for the cause of women, of adoptive parents, of those whose work status provides no protections. It was a cause I felt I had to fight.

Psalm 82:3 “Defend the weak and the fatherless; uphold the cause of the poor and the oppressed.”

Isaiah 1:17 “Learn to do right; seek justice. Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless; plead the case of the widow.

Matthew 5:9 “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.”

John 2:14-21 “¹⁴ In the temple courts he found people selling cattle, sheep and doves, and others sitting at tables exchanging money. ¹⁵ So he made a whip out of cords, and drove all from the temple courts, both sheep and cattle; he scattered the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables. ¹⁶ To those who sold doves he said, “Get these out of here! Stop turning my Father’s house into a market!” ¹⁷ His disciples remembered that it is written: “Zeal for your house will consume me.”^[a]

¹⁸ The Jews then responded to him, “What sign can you show us to prove your authority to do all this?”

¹⁹ Jesus answered them, “Destroy this temple, and I will raise it again in three days.”

²⁰ They replied, “It has taken forty-six years to build this temple, and you are going to raise it in three days?” ²¹ But the temple he had spoken of was his body.

We come across injustices big and small nearly everyday. Yet, we are more than happy to just brush things off and go on our business. Very often than not, we think of social justice as a political issue and not a faith issue. But even Jesus himself was indignant about the injustice in his time. He showed righteous anger. Apart from the fact that my employer has broken a California law, (Family Act), the bible talks about the importance of family. A man cannot be a leader of his congregation unless he has his house in order (1 Tim. 3). The family is at the center of our calling. Love God first, then your spouse, and then your children. Anything else that seeks to separate you from these things should be cut off. We are called to work for our employers as if we were working for the Lord but we are not called to prioritize it. Our priority is the priority of God. Career is not a priority.

So, I decided to fight this case on principle. I also believe that the first few weeks of our baby’s life is very important in our bonding with him. I needed to stay with him from birth. I’ve already missed the first nine months of his life in the womb, I did not want to miss his first five weeks on this earth.

Thus, the union president connected me to my representative and went on from there. I shared with my women’s study small group at my church and immediately, everyone felt the injustice. One of the women gave me her daughter’s number who is a lawyer at the Employment Services in San Diego. She assured me that her daughter could help me for free if needed.

In the end, the case was so black and white that we didn’t need any help at all. Union did not have to file a grievance because, well, it is not only in the Program’s but the entire University’s best interest not to even pursue this case.

Alas, my union representative was also fighting a similar case at UCLA, a bigger campus than mine. However, it was for someone who carried and delivered her own child. Apparently, there are plenty of cases like me who don’t know their rights that they just take it as a matter of fact. I cannot believe that even today, big corporations still get away with this type of injustice. Taking away a man’s or a woman’s right to stay home and parent his or her own child. As if our lives should be solely for the purpose of the advancement of the company. Suddenly I felt I had a bigger purpose to fight.

The whole thing was dragged along. I had originally envisioned the whole thing being in order before the Spring quarter began. Which is the reason why I approached work in the middle of winter quarter as opposed to the end of it.

At the meeting between my union representative, the department heads, and university personnel heads (I chose not to be present at this particular meeting), my department manager tried to convince them that I lack comprehension of things. Of course, she has forgotten that I had written to her to confirm the offer (for me to get a written proof) and choices they gave me. In the end, she was silenced. In fact, I believe she was asked not to speak to me again. Thenceforth, all my business came through another person. The heads asked my union representative what I wanted. She relayed that I didn’t want anything special outside my rights, that is to take the family leave I was entitled to the moment my son was born. By law, that was what was given me and that was what I wanted all along. So my son was born and I’ve stayed home since.

Now I am due back to work. Let me just say that it was worth all the trauma, all the paper work, and all the headaches. These last 11 months I was able to stay home with my two sons have been a joy. My two sons, well my family, are worth more than any job or career there may be. I had to take the risk of not being given a new contract last June, but if I believed God to be a good God that did not matter. He would’ve had something better for me in the end. When we decided that I'd extend my leave of absence for another year, we were well aware that my seniority would fall back or that I may not have a contract renewal come June, but I know God will have something better for me in the end, because HE is faithful.

This week I found out that not only am I going to get my contract renewed, but that I can choose to include the last three quarters I took off towards my continuing appointment review (my seniority intact). Aleluia!!