The Paper Process
Woohoo!! We have Matthew! The relinquishment papers have been signed and sent! We’re done with the bureaucracy!!
Or are we?
It turns out, we had to wait 6 months, within which three visitations from a social worker occurred. Then we could go through the actual paper process within the court system.
So what exactly is the paper process?
Originally, I envisioned the paper process to involve the birth parents’ relinquishment statement to be signed, sealed, then sent to Sacramento. We then just wait for verification or receipt and a court date. It turns out that was just the initial process, the easiest, and the quickest. The relinquishment papers were actually filed the day we left the hospital with the baby.
From the time the baby came home with us, we officially became foster family. At least that’s what I think we were. We had three visits from our social worker, mostly just checking up on us and how we were doing as a family. I actually liked the visits. Our social worker was also our counselor. We received numerous advice about how to manage/cope with another baby after having such a gap between the two boys. I was instructed to allow Alan to go on his bike rides for his own sanity while I was allowed to subscribe to a weekly meal delivery. As difficult as it was (those who’ve had children know that infancy is the most trying part- sleeplessness often gets the best of you) we felt we were much more relaxed this time around and we really enjoyed each stage knowing well how fast it ends. Not to mention the full strength I have – not having to recover from delivery and nursing. The first six months were what I call baby moon phase.
After six months came, alas, the paperwork from hell. Alan did most of it, filling in various paperwork, dropped it off at the court house, only to get it right back in the post instructing us to fill out parts that did not pertain to us. Mind, it took them about six weeks to get this back to us – to fill out one line. Did I mention a line that did not even pertain to us? We then had to drop this back off again.
Why not post the papers, you ask. Well, it took six weeks for us to get the paperwork back from the court house. Could you imagine the thoughts we avoided about the postal service and proper stamps or mailing address? This way, we knew it was only clerical scheduling we were waiting on.
The unnecessary painful part, though admittedly, makes for a good story – dropping the paperwork off. The first time around was a breeze. The second time and the third time around were a mess. First, Alan had dropped by on his way somewhere, which was a bank holiday (one of those bank holidays that no one really ever has so to everyone else was a normal day except for banks and government offices). He wondered why the parking was rather empty. The second time around was me dropping it off on a Monday. As I arrived at noon, I thought the place was closed for lunch so I decided to take Matthew for lunch. We came back an hour later and it was still closed. It was, yet again, a holiday (I didn’t realize President’s day was also on the Monday).
Do they ever work?
I came back the following week, this time was not a holiday. This one took another two months before we got a court date, after which, another paperwork was to be filled and filed. Back to the courthouse we were. Although, this time we’ve learned our lessons well. We dropped this one off and thought whew! That’s out of the way.
The first month passed. Then the next month. And another. Our agency had asked for a court date so we informed them that we’ve not heard back from them, four months on. We were told to contact them to follow up and make sure they had all the necessary items. Well guess what, both Alan and I tried to phone them and no person to be spoken to. No, there was actually no way to speak to anyone. When we did, we were instructed to phone the number where no person was ever to be spoken to, just machines and various prompts and instructions. It was like going on circles except you never know which circle you’re on. Going circles on an abyss.
Matthew’s birthday came and gone, and nothing. Yes, one year on from taking him home to us we still have no proof that he is in fact officially ours. We can’t leave the country (he has no passport) if we wanted to go on holiday. In fact, we weren’t allowed to leave the state.
When we did get something, we didn’t want to open the envelope for fear of yet more trips to the ever-holidaying courthouse.
Indeed, it was from the courthouse with a court-date for June 8. Woohoo!! The end of paperwork and red tape!!
