The Options

So why is it taking us so long to fill out applications: For those who have lived abroad and have gone in to an American grocery store shortly after arrival, you know the frustration standing in the cereal isle. All you want is a box of plain cornflakes, yet you are bombarded with an assortment of brands and types of cereals in all sizes. Welcomed or unwelcomed, the sheer amount of choices is debilitating, crippling, frustrating…

Here are the options with which we are faced.

1.     What type of adoption do we want:

·      International vs. National

International	National
From which countries would we consider adopting.	Race of child.
Age of child and consequently length of time we’re willing to wait.	Age of child and consequently length of time we’re willing to wait.
If not willing to wait 5+ years, would we consider a child with some form of medical need?	Open or close adoption.
Cost average $12,000 agency only (+ air travel, international accommodations expenses, medical expenses, dossier cost, visa cost, etc. = $20,000 - $40,000)	Cost average $24, 000

2.     Which agency to go with: This, I think is where we get really stuck. We are making this decision from a much larger perspective than the present. Let’s face it, adoption does not only affect us as a family, but it also affects the child in a much grander way than we can understand. Though there are plenty of private agencies that charge much less fees, it’s really the services they provide that concerns us. For example, what types of support can they provide us pre and post adoption? What types of support can they provide for the adopted child pre and post adoption? As much as it’s been a difficult process for us, I have no doubt of the probable issues the child him/herself will have to face in the future, not mentioning the trauma he/she has already undergone to be in the system and while in the system. To best love and protect our child, we believe it is our responsibility to provide in all levels, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

Should we go with the international route, each agency caters to specific countries. Should we stay locally, does the agency only do open or both open and close adoption? So here, you see how problem #1 is conducive to the choice we make in problem #2; or is it vice versa? Anyway, other considerations are agency requirements. I know, you’re thinking anyone who turns down the Russell family is loco. While most agencies will release a child to a healthy loving family, some might have more harsh requirements. For example, one agency requires that one or both parents have to be 40 years old or younger. Since we are not getting any younger, we might be working under a tight timeframe here. So let's say we like an agency for all it offers and to which country it caters, but if we don't meet a particular requiremnet, then we're back to square one. Another example is one parent has to stay home as a primary care provider for a certain length of time, which isn't a problem for us but this would give you examples of types of requirements we might bump into.